another moral hangover. fuck.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
