so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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