I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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