Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
