she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
