So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
