Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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