a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
