another moral hangover. fuck.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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