Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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