i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
