Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
