we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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