My boss' voice literally gives me gas
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
