don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
