You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i came on her dog
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
