I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
