sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Of course heβs picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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