I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize