How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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