Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
