thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
