how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
