im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I've blown a few things in my day
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
