I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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