ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
