I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My hand turned me down
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
