I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
