kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
