well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You were trust falling into bushes
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
