the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
