Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
