I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
did i just pee glitter
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
