So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
