Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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