a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Ladies don't puke and tell
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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