Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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