if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
