Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
