I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
