no, he came in my armpit
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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