Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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