at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
