i just wanna soil my oats bro
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
