Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Sext me about skeletons
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
