there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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