I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
