and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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