they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
3 2 1 whiskey
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
