I wanna bring you to show and tell
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
