I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
