Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
