I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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