And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
