First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
