we have officially lost it.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
