Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
