I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
