So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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