you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
